被自家孩子实力diss的漫威老爸们
《复仇者联盟3》的热度已经过去
一年一次的父亲节也在上周度过
但是...天道好轮回，苍天饶过谁
你眼中的超级英雄们
在他们自己的亲生孩子面前
那就是渣！渣！
至于亲孩子如何diss自家老爸
我们看看英雄扎心我们开心的画面
被孩子无情diss的爸爸们
金刚狼
孩子的朋友来家中做客，会问一些关于金刚狼的消息。
在我面前他什么也不说，我就回到房间，我听见儿子跟同学说：
“他一点都不像金刚狼，既不强悍也不酷”。
摊手~~~
钢铁侠
我儿子Exton不听我的话，所以只好请Jernmy Renner（鹰眼）教育一下他。
Jeremy打电话和他说：“你好，我是鹰眼。你不能把棍子往眼睛里插，这样
子你就没法儿从300码开外的地方向敌人射箭并打败他们了。”
子你就没法儿从300码开外的地方向敌人射箭并打败他们了。”
他只听鹰眼的话。
蚁人
我告诉我的孩子我要去演超级英雄电影了，是《蚁人》。
他说：“什么？”他一点都不惊喜。
然后他说：“哇我已经迫不及待想看他有多蠢了！”
我发誓他是这样说的。
浩克
有一天我儿子生气了，他直接跑过来跟我说：
“我恨浩克，他就是一坨屎！”
无奈~~~
星爵
我问：“儿子，你觉得《银河护卫队》怎么样？”“挺好。”
我又问：“那谁是你最喜欢的超级英雄？”“蜘蛛侠。”
他一直以为我是一个消防员。
再次摊手~~
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
真的是被自家孩子diss到体无完肤
然而更狠的还在后面
孩子不只是在语言上战胜了爸爸
还用实际行动来表达出
自家老爸很渣渣
幻视
“你是她最喜欢的角色吗？”
“哦不不不，是小罗伯特唐尼（钢铁侠）。”
“你是她爸爸，怎么会这样！”
“我想拍一个视频给唐尼，让我女儿说幻视是她最喜欢的英雄，我女儿向
我保证，一定说幻视是她最爱的英雄。”
我保证，一定说幻视是她最爱的英雄。”
（视频录制中...）
“宝贝。你喜欢钢铁侠还是幻视呢？”
“钢铁侠！我爱你！”
尴尬又不失礼貌的微笑~
不过幻视的女儿真的很漂亮哦
来张清晰的图养养眼
蝙蝠侠
我女儿Violet觉得我让她丢人了。
她说爸你来学校接我的时候能不能站远一点被别人看见。
她觉得演蝙蝠侠有啥好的，她想让我演哈利·波特。
我说：“闺女，你爸演不了哈利·波特，只能演蝙蝠侠。”
还是星爵
星爵的儿子应该是最皮的一个了
不仅嘴上说着不喜欢星爵这个角色
还在万圣节的时候
还穿上最爱的美国队长的衣服和星爵出街
这一万点伤害......666666，社会社会
当然在众多当爸爸的超级英雄中
有一位比较特殊
身为三个孩子的父亲
（前不久报道称妻子已经又怀孕了）
雷神 Thor
却“带”了一手的好孩子
恭喜锤哥喜提健身器材
锤三岁这逗孩子的技术也是没谁了
不过...看了这个视频之后
想问一下
谁是孩子啊？？？？
当然了，这些都是家长里短的小事情
而真正做了爸爸的他们
却也无时无刻不在吐槽“喜当爹”的感悟
明星老爸吐槽当爹感悟
“星爵”克里斯•帕拉特 Chris Pratt
"I've gotten to jump out of helicopters and do daring stunts and play baseball
in a professional stadium, but none of them mean anything compared to being
somebody's daddy."
in a professional stadium, but none of them mean anything compared to being
somebody's daddy."
“我跳过直升机，演过惊心动魄的特技，在专业赛场上打过棒球，但没有一件
事能与当爸爸相提并论。”
事能与当爸爸相提并论。”
“高司令”瑞恩•高斯林 Ryan Gosling
"When you meet your kids, you realize that they deserve great parents. And
then you have your marching orders, and you have to try and become the person
that they deserve," Gosling said.
then you have your marching orders, and you have to try and become the person
that they deserve," Gosling said.
“当你看到自己的孩子时，你会觉得他们值得拥有很棒的父母。之后你就会给
自己下开拔令，努力成为当得起他们父母的人。”
自己下开拔令，努力成为当得起他们父母的人。”
“小贱贱”瑞安•雷诺兹 Ryan Reynolds
"I used to say to [Blake], 'I would take a bullet for you. I could never love anything
as much as I love you.' I would say that to my wife," Reynolds shared. "And the
second I looked in that baby's eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were
ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby."
as much as I love you.' I would say that to my wife," Reynolds shared. "And the
second I looked in that baby's eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were
ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby."
“我曾常常对妻子Blake说，‘我可以为你挡子弹，再也不会像爱你那样爱上任何
事物。’可当我看着宝宝双眼时，我马上就意识到，如果我们一家人遭到袭击，
我会让我老婆当肉盾保护宝宝的。”
事物。’可当我看着宝宝双眼时，我马上就意识到，如果我们一家人遭到袭击，
我会让我老婆当肉盾保护宝宝的。”
约翰•斯塔莫斯 John Stamos
"It's more beautiful than I imagined," he gushed. "Everything is more colorful,
more exciting. Music, you know, sounds better. He's just a beautiful little boy."
more exciting. Music, you know, sounds better. He's just a beautiful little boy."
“比我想象的要美好。一切更加多姿多彩，激动人心。音乐，你懂的，
听上去更加悦耳。他正是一个漂亮的小男孩。”
听上去更加悦耳。他正是一个漂亮的小男孩。”
布拉德•皮特 Brad Pitt
"I grew up with a father-knows-best/war mentality — the father is all-powerful,
super strong — instead of really knowing the man and his own self-doubt and
struggles," he said. "And it's hit me smack in the face with our divorce: I gotta
be more. I gotta be more for them. I have to show them. And I haven't been great at it."
super strong — instead of really knowing the man and his own self-doubt and
struggles," he said. "And it's hit me smack in the face with our divorce: I gotta
be more. I gotta be more for them. I have to show them. And I haven't been great at it."
“我从小就有一种要么老爸说了算，要么干一仗的心态——父亲是全能的，超强的——
却并没有真正懂得他和他的疑惑挣扎。离婚对我是个打击：为了他们我要付出更多。
我要让他们看到。但我一直不擅长这样做。”
却并没有真正懂得他和他的疑惑挣扎。离婚对我是个打击：为了他们我要付出更多。
我要让他们看到。但我一直不擅长这样做。”
威尔•史密斯 Will Smith
"I feel that the greatest gift that I can give my children is the freedom to be
who they are. Jada and I are very serious about finding what they are, and
encouraging them to be what they are because you can never be happy
being what you're not." He continued, "As a parent, if it's an oak tree, I want
it to grow as an oak tree. I'm not going to try to force it to be an apple tree."
who they are. Jada and I are very serious about finding what they are, and
encouraging them to be what they are because you can never be happy
being what you're not." He continued, "As a parent, if it's an oak tree, I want
it to grow as an oak tree. I'm not going to try to force it to be an apple tree."
“我觉得我能给孩子们最棒的礼物是让他们有做自己的自由。Jada和我非常
认真的要让他们找到本真，鼓励他们做自己，因为否则他们永远不会开心。
作为父亲，如果孩子是棵橡树，我希望他长成一棵橡树，我不会强迫他变成
苹果树。”
认真的要让他们找到本真，鼓励他们做自己，因为否则他们永远不会开心。
作为父亲，如果孩子是棵橡树，我希望他长成一棵橡树，我不会强迫他变成
苹果树。”
“小雀斑”埃迪•雷德梅恩 Eddie Redmayne
"Before you're a parent, you sort of hear people talking about [not sleeping],
and then suddenly you're the guy who is floating in a constant sort of jet lag
with an IV of caffeine," Redmayne said before insisting that it's "worth every
minute."
and then suddenly you're the guy who is floating in a constant sort of jet lag
with an IV of caffeine," Redmayne said before insisting that it's "worth every
minute."
“在当爸爸之前，你会听人说没觉睡之类的，而之后你突然就成了一个打了
咖啡因在时差感里发飘的人。”不过小雀斑在说这话之前表示，“每一分钟
都值得。”
咖啡因在时差感里发飘的人。”不过小雀斑在说这话之前表示，“每一分钟
都值得。”
“卷福”本尼迪克特•康伯巴奇 Benedict Cumberbatch
"Having a baby — it's massive. And on a very unexpected level," he told
Vanity Fair. "Suddenly I understood my parents much more proudly than
I ever had before."
Vanity Fair. "Suddenly I understood my parents much more proudly than
I ever had before."
“要个宝宝——这事儿太大了。而且出乎意料，”他对《名利场》杂志说，
“突然间我更加自豪地理解了我的父母，这是以前没有过的。”
“突然间我更加自豪地理解了我的父母，这是以前没有过的。”
人气乐团魔力红主唱亚当•莱文 Adam Levine
"I've been a parent for three weeks; what do I know? I don't know anything,
but it's kind of part of the beauty of it, honestly," he said. "There are a lot of
instincts, a lot of things that kind of kick in and switch on. It's a beautiful
experience."
but it's kind of part of the beauty of it, honestly," he said. "There are a lot of
instincts, a lot of things that kind of kick in and switch on. It's a beautiful
experience."
“我当上爸爸有3周了；我知道什么呢？我什么也不懂，不过说实话，妙就
妙在这里，”他说，“这中间有太多直觉本能的东西，很多事就水到渠成了。
这是个美好的经历。”
妙在这里，”他说，“这中间有太多直觉本能的东西，很多事就水到渠成了。
这是个美好的经历。”
“贾老板”贾斯汀•汀布莱克 Justin Timberlake
"I feel like the success of parenthood is feeling like I failed all day today, but
I get to wake up tomorrow and do it again and hopefully they turn out to be a
good human being."
I get to wake up tomorrow and do it again and hopefully they turn out to be a
good human being."
“我觉得做父母的成功就是，虽然感觉今天一整天都很失败，但是明天起床，
继续再来，但愿他们能做个好人。”
继续再来，但愿他们能做个好人。”